Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
