Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
