Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
