Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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