you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
