go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
is it fun? or sober?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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