So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
