end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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