I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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