Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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