Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
