Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
