she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
