I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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