My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
