Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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