Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
this will be a night to untag.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
