things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
