i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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