I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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