What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
