I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
