drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
