Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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