I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
