Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
