It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
