I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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