I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
