yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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