mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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