I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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