Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
