I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
