We won't sleep together?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
