Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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