Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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