It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
