Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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