fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
