Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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