Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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