I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
