Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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