90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
