he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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