I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
