who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
