we made out on top of his cat.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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