I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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