he puts the penis in happiness.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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